Monday, October 20, 2014

Dear Parents

On the first week of school we had Kingsley's teachers put a letter in all of his classmates communication bag to be sent home. This is something that we will likely do for the first few years he is at the school, until he's able to just talk about himself to his peers on his own.

Our reasoning for this was a few things. First, we know that people are curious. The parents of his classmates are going to wonder why a kid his age is using a wheelchair. The kids would find out, but if other children are anything like my children the parents will only hear half the story and it will be a very confusing half. We don't want his wheelchair to be the elephant in the playground that no one wants to ask about. We don't want awkward hushing when kids comment on it. We don't want Kingsley to be left out 'just in case'. There is fear of the unknown. We put the parents out of their misery and just told them outright.

Second, people don't know what SB is and this is a simple way to spread awareness about what Kingsley's diagnosis means for him and where to get more information on it.

Third, it was a quick and easy way to establish our hands-off policy regarding Kingsley's wheelchair and let families know to start watching out for latex.

And finally, we want parents to be able to talk about SB and Kingsley easily with their children. If their child does come home with a question about whether or not Kingsley can stand up for example, they have the information to answer them frankly and discuss at their child's comprehension level.

Here is the letter that we sent home (it had a cute picture of King at the top that Jeff added in at the last minute and I don't have, so I'm faking it with this one). Like I said, I have had a few parents mention how much they appreciated it.


Dear Parents,

My son, Kingsley, is in your class this year. He is easy to spot - he’s the one on wheels! Some of the SK’s might remember his sister, Cordelia, from their class last year. It’s natural to be curious about people that are different and we want his friends to be comfortable around him instead of making him and his wheelchair a taboo subject.

Kingsley was born with spina bifida - a hole in his back where the spinal cord was exposed and nerves were damaged. The hole was repaired right away, but the damage is permanent. He is not sick, it is not contagious, and he is not in pain. He is just like every other kid in the class, except that he is paralyzed below the hips and cannot stand or walk. He is okay with this! He loves his wheelchair and is very independent with it.

His wheelchair is pretty cool, but we are very strict about kids not moving it. This is both for his safety and because he doesn’t like it. It would be like another child picking him up and moving him against his will or giving him a big shove - a little bit rude and also pretty dangerous. It’s okay to look though! And if you’re quick you can get a look at his sticker collection or the flashing front wheels.

Kingsley has a suspected latex allergy. He has to stay away from it as much as possible. If you bring in something special to share at holiday times, please make sure you do not send in balloons, latex erasers or pencils with latex erasers.

If you want more information about spina bifida have a look at www.sbhao.on.ca If your child comes up with more questions that you’re not sure how to answer, feel free to email me anytime (email address).

See you at school!

Jill, Jeff, and Kingsley

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Kindergarten

I suppose I should start off with excuses about this blog being dead (oops). I don't have much. My laptop was dying a slow death and I have a new one now.

Kingsley has been in school for a month and a half now. I was very anxious about kindergarten. In Ontario, kids start Junior Kindergarten the year they turn four, followed by Senior Kindergarten the year they turn five. Both are optional and both are full days, all day. The majority of kids go.

We had a few preliminary meetings with the school through the spring. I was feeling pretty confident right up until the week before school when I discovered that staff had been shuffled and Kingsley would be having new teachers we did not know, a new principal we had not met, a new ECE we didn't know and whether he'd have an EA in the classroom and how much and who it would be was all unknown also. And new secretaries who would not tell me anything.

I may have panicked.

A lot.

Thankfully, the school VP stepped in and we were able to see the classroom, meet the teachers and get names for everyone else before the big day.

The Tuesday after Labour Day, I dropped Kingsley off for his first day of school. He was beyond excited. Like, angry-at-me-for-taking-so-many-stinkin-pictures excited. Begging-to-go-RIGHT-NOW excited. "See ya, Mom" and not-looking-back excited. He was just so ready for it.


The girls also had great first days. They were more anxious about who their teachers were and who would be in their classes, whether they'd be with friends. It all worked out!


Amazingly, there have been very few blips. He LOVES school. He is so disappointed by weekends, asks every morning if he can go to school. He loves to be there, loves his friends, loves the playtime. He doesn't love the school work part, his pre-printing skills are feeble attempts at best. Whether this is a lack of interest or a long history of taking his time to develop skills, I'm not sure.

As with preschool, Kingsley is blending in like every other kid. I went in and spoke to the class about spina bifida and Kingsley's wheelchair in the first week. They were completely unfazed, mostly wanting to discuss their various scars or differences. I also sent a letter home for all of the parents explaining briefly that Kingsley has spina bifida, what it is, that he is paralyzed but otherwise just like their kids. It went over really well with the families I have since spoken to.

So, things are going well here. School is a piece of cake! Who would've thought?

 he's SO MAD that I stopped them for one more picture!
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