Wednesday, June 12, 2013

My Little Kreacher

Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not. The elf straightened up, eyeing them all malevolently, and apparently convinced that they could not hear him as he continued to mutter. 

"...and there's the mudblood, standing there bold as brass, oh, if my mistress knew, oh, how she'd cry, and there's a new boy, Kreacher doesn't know his name. What is he doing here? Kreacher doesn't know..."

~ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, JKR

can you see the resemblance? 

There's a character in the later Harry Potter books named Kreacher who is an old elf, a bit senile maybe, and who does not realize (or perhaps care) that his internal dialogue is external - he says exactly what he's thinking at all times. He also speaks in third person. This is exactly what it's like hanging out with Kingsley all day. From the moment he wakes up, he is talking and telling me exactly what he's thinking. It sounds like this:

"MOMMY!!! Open my door! I awake! Oh! There's Mommy. Mommy opened the door. Hi Mommy! Mommy's awake. Mommy's turning off my light. No! Don't change Kingsley's bum. Where's my iPad? Oh, there's my iPad. I wanna watch Thomas. Where's Thomas? I can't find Thomas. I found Thomas. I don't want this Thomas. Where's Thomas and Percy? Here's Percy. Mommy, wanna see something cool? Hey, there's Edward. Oh, Mommy's taking off my PJ's. Mommy, I hiding! Oh, there's Rachel. Hi Rachel! Rachel's awake. Mommy and Kingsley are awake. Cordie's not here. Mommy and Kingsley and Rachel are on Kingsley's bed..." and on and on and on. His speech isn't perfect, but I saved you the trouble of trying to interpret what he meant by not typing the way he actually speaks. 

He stops for breath occasionally, but for the most part, if he and I are alone and he's not eating, it's the constant stream. He is also a killer backseat driver. I almost made a video of him driving to playgroup this morning because it was so funny, but it's illegal to play with my phone, so I didn't. Here's some of the transcription:

"Mommy and Kingsley are in the car. Mommy can we please, please, please go to playgroup? Oh! CEMENT TRUCK!!! CE! MENT! TRUUUUUCK!!!! I see a cement truck! Mommy! FASTER!!! Where's the cement truck! OH NO! Cement truuuuck!!! GO FASTER MOMMY! [the cement truck was in the other lane and was turning, we were going straight. this was devastating]. Bye-bye cement truck. OH! A dump truck! Pretty, pretty please? I really, really, really want to go to playgroup. Move, car! Mommy, go faster! MOVE CAR! That car is in the way. Move faster! FASTER!! A school bus! I see a school bus. I love school buses. The school bus has a door. There's a school bus. And a city bus! I see a city - TWO CITY BUSES!! What are you doing, Mommy? Mommy, are you getting your coffee? Oh, Mommy doesn't wanna coffee, Mommy has a tea. FASTER MOMMY! Mommy, do you have your tea? Where's your tea? Why aren't you drinking your tea?"

He seems to save these monologues for when he's alone with people or just around people he is used to, because he doesn't do it in groups. My parents had the kids overnight this past weekend and my Dad had to spend an hour alone with Kingsley. His response: he talks a lot

"hey gwampa, I wanna tell you sumpin..."

Quite a change from last year, no?


  1. That is great he's so chatty! Reminds DH a bit about L when she was younger. He sure has increased his chatter since last year! That is great.

  2. Ah, he is sooo cute! I love 3 year old conversation. ♥


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