Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Night Time Woes

Lately, at night when everything is quiet and I'm done changing Kingsley and he's fed and I've just put him in his bassinet so I can have a few hours of stretched out sleep before he begs me to snuggle, I get scared.  I have a few moments of panic.  I'm afraid of....


Yep, SIDS. I go through the checklist in my head: good birth weight, breastfed, fan on, non-smoker, back sleeping, etc. etc. and try to convince myself that he'll be fine tonight.

Mostly unremarkable, because I'm sure I'm not the only mom with these thoughts late at night, right? Except it's not what I am worrying about that is interesting, it's what I'm not worrying about. I'm not worrying about his shunt. At all. I hardly ever think about it and not in that denial-mode sort of way either. He's just doing so well right now and it's fabulous. I'm not thinking about his shunt, his legs, his bowel/bladder stuff, his childhood, his school years, his teen years, what his adult life will be like... All the thoughts that haunted me for months all seem irrelevant right now. All that matters is that he's happy and thriving right now.  All that makes me scared are the things that made me scared with the girls: SIDS, solid food, sunburns...

So... everyone go knock on wood really quick, okay? ;) 

I'm off to bed. Must go snuggle my little boy so we're ready for another day of swimming and sun tomorrow!


  1. I knocked hard!
    That a girl Jillsy!

  2. ((hugs)) It was always a fear of mine too. I knocked as hard as I could for ya!

  3. I worry about all that 'normal' stuff too!
    I got an Angel Care mat when Nickolas was born and had to sleep on his belly for 7 weeks. But I still put it on every night.


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